Find out where I've journeyed on the Map of Human Sexuality! Or get your own here!

I Have Once Again Been Awakened

I can now say that I have read the books. Well two and a half out of the three that is.
E.L. James' "50 Shades of Grey" Trilogy is definitely a juicy, erotic read! The books definitely have my juices flowing.
It's a shame that the author is a woman though... not that there is anything wrong with the fact that she's a woman. I just prefer the idea that this was written by a man. It would just add to the fantasy of it all. Could you imagine how much pussy the author would get if he were a man? Women would be clamoring all over him thinking that he was a real 'Christian Grey' Mmm
Just the thought of the main character, 'Christian Grey' makes my pussy twitch and gets me so incredibly wet. I constantly feel like sinking my fingers deep inside of me while I think of my time with Christian. I find it quite easy to insert myself into the story.
Many have criticized that the book is no great work of literature. But then again I don't think that was the intention to begin with. It's an erotic romance novel, and great work of literature or not, it has made a very strong impact on many women out there.  Most of the women I know wish they could be in Anastasia Steele's shoes and have a Mr. Christian Grey of their own. If only for just a brief moment of fantasy.
When I read these books I can realistically see myself doing these things that many are somewhat appalled at and yet so turned on by at the same time. Maybe it's the authors writing abilities that allows me to put myself right in the middle of it, but I tend to think that the truth of it has more to do with the fact that I have actually been involved in the "scene" in real life and subscribed to lifestyle, briefly, as it were. Ropes, and, handcuffs, and floggers, Oh my. I've already had my own fair share of kinky fuckery, as Anastasia calls it. 
In my previous post about Mommy Porn, I mentioned how amusing it was to me that so many women, friends of mine, were going on and on about how steamy and above all shocking this book was. I would secretly smile to myself thinking 'yea, it's one thing to read it and quite another to have lived it.

I have read, and become completely in armoured with, Anastasia and Christian's story and I find myself longing for that in my life again. I say again, because life as it often does can get in the way of certain dreams and desires.
When I began this blog just about a year ago, a chance meeting with an old friend reminded my partner (whom in this blog I call Daddy) and I, of a time that had long passed. A time  that we let lie dormant for much too long.  A time filed with passion and sex and dominance and true release of the deepest part of myself. Our memories served to rekindled a passion that I had thought we had lost.
The love we had was always there, but the passion had waxed and waned over time.
We decided to revisit our past and the result led us to many new passion filled experiences and nights like the one described here and the start of this blog. I had so many more stories that I had every intention of writing about, but never had been able to make the time for. I regret that.
I regret it because I am truly a sexual being way down deep and at the core of me. I want to be able to eat, breath and sleep sex - it is what truly makes me feel alive, it is what makes me feel whole, it is who I am. I also regret it because I allowed life to get in the way of my passion for my Daddy and my true self once again
It took reading these books to re-awaken that part of me that I allowed to slip back into a long slumber. That part of me has been hibernating too long yet again and has been waiting to come back again. 
I have once again been awakened and it is my vow to make my desires and my passion for sex and for my Daddy a priority.
I am also making it a priority to fill this blog with more and more enticingly erotic stories for my own pleasure.There is nothing more powerful and enticing than reading and reliving your own erotically passionate love story.

My Libido is in a Different Time Zone.

I think my libido is in a different time zone.

I always get really horny late at night, long after my husband has gone to bed and fallen asleep.

Usually I'll lie there next to him and try to masturbate quietly. But rarely is it satisfying. First of all I am anything but quiet, and second of all I find that I NEED a partner to truly get off.  I just don't orgasm when I masturbate, at least not without help.

Granted I could wake him. But I am not always successful, he is a really heavy sleeper and he does not react well to being woken up at 2 or 3 in the morning. It tends to put a damper on things.

So, I lie in my bed and I think about sex. I try to think of things that might help trigger a hopefully "good ...but quiet" orgasm as opposed to an unsatisfying and failed attempt at one. But like I said they are rare when I am on my own.

It's frustrating to say the least. Sometimes I try recalling sexual moments from my past, or a particular partner from my past, and try to drum up the memory of a moment in time that brought me pleasure.

But sometimes the need for an actual partner is too strong to safice. It's times like these that I wished wakeing my husband for sex was more welcoming and less ... 'him getting so startled out of sleep that he's about to bolt out of bed'. It's times like these that I wish I could 'phone a friend'.

Yes I am referring to phone sex. I can't help it. I really really do like sex. I like talking about it. I like getting off on talking about it. I like speaking in innuendos and flirting about. And I like that it's fantasy, and role-playing, and innocent fun with no reality attached to it.  But what I would really like is to be able to do it with permission from my husband.

But can I ask permission to talk about sex with the possibility of getting aroused by a conversation with another person; without hurting his feelings? 



 

Mommy Porn?

Mommies and housewives have been going gaga over a new trilogy of books, "50 Shades of Gray" by E.L. James. It has been dubbed "Mommy Porn". Personally, I have not read it. Yet. (I do intend too, soon). As I understand it, it is a romantic love story revolving around BDSM.
It makes me giggle to see my friends on Facebook going on and on about it; and how racy and shocking it is. I laugh because while they are only just reading about it; I have lived it.
As I said, I have not yet read it; but I do look forward to doing so.

A Love Letter of Sorts

Daddy sent me 2 emails last week, and it put us on a new path, one that would leave the monotony of routine life behind.
The first was a love letter of sorts, it said;

So this morning we discussed that we should get you worn out more often.

AND

After our last Paddles trip we discussed that you do not want to be out of control, but under control.

I truly treasure you. You are the most important thing in the world. Let us take this further together.

To be controlled excites you, it excites me to. To be controlled, you must submit. Can you submit with all your heart, mind and body? Will you push yourself when asked? I will expect nothing less.

This is not a discussion. This is a start, not an end. Make no mention or indication on these mails or anything they contain till I get home tonight. If you are ready, open the second mail from your Daddy. He will be home later. No more half-steps. No more half steps because I love you and I always will.

- Daddy

I was not at all sure of what to expect but I had a smile on my face none the less
I opened the 2nd email with the subject line 'A Beginning' for the first of several times that day.
It read;

Instructions from your Daddy

1)      –  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2)      – Feel sexy, because you are.

3)      – Shower and shave

a.       I do not expect the shave to be perfect, but I do expect it will be done.

4)      – Think how sexy that pussy will feel to my touch.

5)      – Go in the drawer of my bed side table

a.       Take out
        i.      Collar
        ii.      Blindfold                                                  
        iii.      Keys
        iv.      Two clothespins

6)      – Use the keys to open the toy box in my closet

a.       Take out the blue studded cuffs

7)      – Take out of same closet the bag of rope

a.       Put this on my side of the bed

8)      – Put a phone on the receiver next to the bed.

9)      – Finish the above before 10:00

10)   – At 10:00 retire to the bedroom and lock the door.

11)   – Dress to please me.

a.       This must include underwear.

12)   – At 10:15 put on the cuffs and the collar.

a.       My collar may only be worn when you are told.

13)   – At 10:30 you will begin to masturbate, but only over the underwear.

a.       Toys may be used over the underwear.

14)   – At 10:45 you will add the clothespins to your nipples and put on the blindfold.

15)   – Know I will see you soon.

I can't begin to express what I felt reading this; …excitement, love, anticipation, giddy, sexy, and more. Even now I am getting moist just re-reading it and remembering the night.

I could not wait for evening to come and to begin preparing for Daddy's arrival. I spent the day going through my normal routine  all while thinking of all the naughty things I would be doing.

I followed the instructions as they were laid out for me.
My shower was nice and warm, as I slid my soapy hands all over my wet skin, paying special attention to the fun parts. When it came time to shave my pussy, I'll have to admit I was a bit disappointed. I don't mind the shave, in fact I rather enjoy being "bare down there", I love the skin to skin contact when my Daddy touches me. What was disappointing was the fact that Daddy wasn't going to be doing the landscaping as he has occasionally done for me in the past. I just loooooooove it when he takes the time to groom my pussy to his specifications. It makes me feel so cared for, I love the gentle way he tends to me   ...and of course there is the inevitable slip of his finger ever so slightly over my clit. And then it really gets exciting.
I got out all the specified paraphernalia with anticipation. When I had read that I should take out the bag of rope I knew I was in for a treat. I don't know if Daddy knows just how much I enjoy how creative he gets with the rope.
I decided to get a little creative on my own. Sex for me, as with many women, is in large part mental. I enjoy setting the scene, creating a fantasy in my mind if you will. And external props can carry those fantasies farther. So I decided to put together a playlist; ...our soundtrack for sex. I picked songs that made me think of sex, and songs that were sentimental to us. I then picked out a few candles so that the lighting would be just right, although it really wouldn't matter much to me since I was going to be blindfolded.
I did as I was instructed; I put on my sheer black lingerie with the white embroidery on the breasts, and of course I put on a pair of silky black panties. I liked the way I looked. And I knew Daddy would like the way my huge tits looked pushed up nice and plump ready to be tortured. I readied myself by putting on my wrist cuffs and Daddy's collar that was especially made for me a long time ago.
Over the years, while life was getting in the way, that collar remained locked up in the toy box and only made an appearance now and then. Recently those appearances became regular enough to make the move to the nightstand.  And that makes me Giddy.

Now that I was dressed appropriately, I lit the candles, sat at the edge of my bed and turned on the music. I had to laugh because the first song that my playlist spit out in shuffle mode was “I touch myself” by Divinyls. And that’s what I did.

I laid myself down on our bed and I started to masturbate as instructed, I tugged on my nipples and rolled them between my thumb and fingers, I let one hand slide down my stomach  to my pussy. I slowly let my fingers graze over my panties and find my clit through the thin fabric. As I listened to the music my fingers rubbed and brushed gently over my skin. I allowed myself to use a vibrator but it really only served to frustrate me, knowing I wasn’t to touch myself under my panties.

At the directed time I placed my blindfold over my eyes and clamped the clothes pins on my nipples. The song “Bad Things” by Jace Everett came on as I laid in wait and gently rubbed my pussy over my panties. The anticipation of what was yet to come was truly amazing.

When I heard my Daddy at the door I jumped. He did not say a word. He only came to my side and let his fingers trail over my breasts and gave my already tortured nipples a squeeze and I winced in delight.

He made himself busy preparing his vision for the night. I strained to listen for clues as to what he had in store for me. I could hear him unraveling the rope at the end of the bed. Occasionally he would caress my body in different places depending on where he was standing and what part of my body was within reach. When I was lucky, he would slip his fingers under my panties and play with my clit or dip a few fingers  into my wet cunt before stepping away to finish his ‘busy work’ all around the bed as he attached restraints to our four poster bed.

He comes to me when he is done and tells me to take his hands; he pulls me to my feet and leads me to the foot of the bed. As I stand there helpless with anticipation, he binds me with the rope. I love the feel of it as it slides across my skin, under my breasts, crisscrossing over my chest, pinning my arms to my sides, wrapped around my knees,  and my wrists with hands tightly clasped and bound together. The snug fit was comforting and uncomfortable all at the same time.

Daddy led me back to the bed and instructed me to sit. The rope tugged and tightened in different places but most notably between my legs. It wedged itself tightly between my ass cheeks and rubbed my clit in just the right way when I shifted my body ever so slightly. He assisted me into a reclining position.  He stood back and admired his handy work, and told me how beautiful and sexy I am. And I felt beautiful and sexy. Then I heard him leave the room. I wondered what would be next as I enjoyed the moment and listened to the music.

The next think I heard was “CLICK”, he was taking pictures of me and the thought of that turned me on even more. For a moment my wild imagination pictured a gathering of people taking pictures of me from all angles. I adore being seen and watched. I also loved the idea of getting to see me as Daddy sees me.

After He took a few photos, he put down the camera and began to caress and tease my body, his fingers found their way to my pussy. My cunt was so hungry to be touched. He slid my panties to the side as he fingered me lightly. All the components; the ropes, the blindfold, being bound and not knowing what to expect next had me just so worked up, I NEEDED more, and he knew it. Daddy can always read my body language. Although the writhing and lifting of my pelvis off the mattress to meet his touch was pretty obvious. Daddy reached for my vibrator and wedged it under the ropes and against my clit while he began to untie my legs, I requested that he unbind my wrists too, as I was losing the feeling in my hands. My hands once freed moved instinctively to my cunt, I pulled my panties to the side to get to my clit while my Daddy shoved the vibrator deeper inside of me. There was an urgency to be touched and fucked and to cum. I needed better access to my pussy; my panties were just too tight. I pulled at it to stretch it and the elastic just would not give. Daddy rushed to my rescue by cutting my panties at the crotch allowing full access.

All I wanted was to get fucked. As he worked the vibrator in and out of my cunt, I fervently worked my clit with my fingers. Daddy took over working my clit while my I grasped at the sheets, the mattress, my hair, the pillows, the air, anything that I could get my hands on, as I writhed on the mattress and moaned and purred, and growled. I finally grabbed at the pillow by my head and covered my face with it as I screamed and came all over my Daddy’s hands.

You see when I cum I shoot and spray all over the place. Daddy then shoved his cock deep inside of me and I just came and came and came some more.

Only my Daddy knows how to make my body do that.

And it all began with a love letter of sorts.

What Daddy Wants Daddy Gets

I have always been an extremely sexual person, from early on in life. Unfortunate happenings in my childhood awakened something in me that could not be tamed. This blog, however, is not about my childhood, it is instead about my sexual experiences and desires.

I enjoy sex in all it's forms. I naturally enjoy participating in it, the voyeur in me enjoys viewing it; I love erotic art and photography, I enjoy watching sex acts either live or on the screen. Although, I am more attracted to erotica than to porn. And of course the huge exhibitionist in me believes that nothing beats being watched. I also really enjoy discussing sex -in the right company, of course.

The opportunity to be in the right company does not always present itself though; so with that in mind I came up with an idea for a blog, where I could anonymously lay out all my fantasies and tell all my stories. Put myself on exhibit as it where.

This idea of mine rolled around my brain for quite sometime; and it probably would have stayed there were it not for the man who has played a leading roll in my life for over 10 years.

He takes care of me and indulges me in a lot. And for that I am HIS.

He is my Bone-Daddy, and I am his little Sally girl.

Bone-Daddy and I have gotten into our dry spells every now and again. I think everyone can relate to life getting in the way of ones desires, and things getting a bit routine in the bedroom, right? Well after running into an old friend who used to frequent the sex clubs around the same time we did, we made a date to go back. We slipped back into our roles so willingly and easily.

Our moments together have been better than ever. I am completely under his spell. What Bone-Daddy wants, Bone-Daddy gets.

Bone-Daddy wants me to keep this diary of our sex life. As per his instructions it should be sexy and something that makes me damp when reading it. The thought of this itself gets me all wet, after all he promises to give me plenty to write about?