My Libido is in a Different Time Zone.

I think my libido is in a different time zone.

I always get really horny late at night, long after my husband has gone to bed and fallen asleep.

Usually I'll lie there next to him and try to masturbate quietly. But rarely is it satisfying. First of all I am anything but quiet, and second of all I find that I NEED a partner to truly get off.  I just don't orgasm when I masturbate, at least not without help.

Granted I could wake him. But I am not always successful, he is a really heavy sleeper and he does not react well to being woken up at 2 or 3 in the morning. It tends to put a damper on things.

So, I lie in my bed and I think about sex. I try to think of things that might help trigger a hopefully "good ...but quiet" orgasm as opposed to an unsatisfying and failed attempt at one. But like I said they are rare when I am on my own.

It's frustrating to say the least. Sometimes I try recalling sexual moments from my past, or a particular partner from my past, and try to drum up the memory of a moment in time that brought me pleasure.

But sometimes the need for an actual partner is too strong to safice. It's times like these that I wished wakeing my husband for sex was more welcoming and less ... 'him getting so startled out of sleep that he's about to bolt out of bed'. It's times like these that I wish I could 'phone a friend'.

Yes I am referring to phone sex. I can't help it. I really really do like sex. I like talking about it. I like getting off on talking about it. I like speaking in innuendos and flirting about. And I like that it's fantasy, and role-playing, and innocent fun with no reality attached to it.  But what I would really like is to be able to do it with permission from my husband.

But can I ask permission to talk about sex with the possibility of getting aroused by a conversation with another person; without hurting his feelings?